We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Santa Bacon (parody of 'Santa Baby') ft Skeewiff

by Phoole

supported by
jgfernandez
jgfernandez thumbnail
Jennifer Malik
Jennifer Malik thumbnail
/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

about

Back at the dawn of Phoole & the Gang in 2013, my wife Tiffany and I were in a grocery store that happened to have one of those toy-crane novelty machines - we call them 'claw machines' or 'grabby machines.' Players put in a coin or two, or a dollar most likely these days, and maneuver a crane 'claw' into position; when the machine's brief timer elapses after a few seconds, the claw drops down and either grabs a prize, or doesn't, and then retracts. If it grabs a prize, it drops the prize down a chute for the player to keep.

​Tiffany happens to be a stone-cold grabby-machine hustler - she wins every time she plays. And on this particular occasion, we discovered this particular grabby machine had in it a very weird prize we'd never seen before: SANTA BACON. It was a stuffed-toy piece of bacon, with arms and legs and eyes and a moustache, and a Santa Claus hat. It made no sense at all. I wanted it. Tiff played and won it immediately, on the first try.

​As I gloatingly paraded it about the grocery store, Tiff said, "You now have to do a parody of 'Santa Baby,' but rewrite the lyrics so they're all about Santa Bacon instead." We re-wrote the lyrics together, Skeewiff kindly and indulgently supplied an incredible, perfect instrumental - and a crispy, delicious legend was born!

lyrics

Santa Bacon,
just slip some strips right under the tree for me;
Been a hungry girl,
Santa Bacon,
So hurry to my kitchen tonight

Santa Bacon,
everybody knows you're a dish delish
I'll save room for you, dear;
Santa Bacon,
So hurry to my kitchen tonight.

Bridge:
You're so crispy, brown and long -
You taste so good that I had to
rewrite this song!
You make everybody beg -
and you’re so good with scrambled eggs.

Santa Bacon, you're so delicious, salty and good;
I should
keep Kosher but I just can't!
Santa Bacon,
Jump onto my griddle tonight.

Santa Bacon,
I'll sprinkle you all over my grits
In bits ... taste so heavenly dear,
Santa Bacon,
Wrap you round some chestnuts tonight.

​Santa Bacon,
breakfast lunch and dinner
with you
I'll chew,
nothing less will do.
Santa Bacon,
hurry to my skillet tonight.

Bridge:
Come and trim my BLT
any time of day is good enough for me;
For dessert I think I'll try
You with ice cream and apple pie

​Santa Bacon,
the crispiest Kris Kringle of all -
just fall
Into my open mouth
Santa Bacon,
hurry and get in me tonight.
Hurry and you'll sizzle tonight.
Hurry, tonight!

credits

released December 14, 2018
Composition: Javits/Springer; Arrangement/Performance: Skeewiff; Lyrics: Phoole & Tiffany Thomas

license

tags

about

Phoole image

Phoole Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Phoole is LIVE Fridays on Phoole & the Gang at slipmat.io/phoole! We go out worldwide from the PhooleOut Shelter underneath Milwaukee, WIsconsin, USA with good good tunes and good good Phooligan friends from all around the Phooliverse! The show's been called "...a kids' show for grownups," and we like it that way! ... more

contact / help

Contact Phoole

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

If you like Phoole, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now